Families Change
Teen Guide to Separation & Divorce

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Many teens really believe that their parents will get back together. They try very hard to make it happen by being on their best behaviour.

Sometimes this is a way of denying what is really happening, in order to protect yourself from the painful reality.

Chances are, your parents reached this point only after trying very hard to save their relationship, and their decision to split up is final.

It's hard, but it's probably better for you to begin to accept the situation as it really is, and get used to the changes that you are facing, in order to get on with your life.

Q & A

Q:
If my parents divorce, will the same thing happen to me?
A:

Many teens whose parents split up feel anxious about their own relationships in the future. But just because your parents split up doesn't mean the same thing will happen to you. What happens in your relationships will be up to you, not your parents!

Q:
Do I have to take sides, or choose one parent over the other?
A:

No, you don't. You have the right to love and be loved by both parents.

If you are feeling pressured to take sides, and you feel you are caught in the middle of your parents' problems, tell them.

Q:
I'm feeling guilty. Was there something I did to cause it?
A:

You are not the reason for your parents splitting up. Parents split up because of problems in their relationship.

It's not your fault!

Q:
What will my friends say when they find out?
A:

Lots of teens worry about breaking the news to their friends. But separation and divorce are very common these days.

Good friends will be glad you've told them. You're still you, even though your family is changing.

Q:
I'm feeling really upset and confused about my parents splitting up. Is this normal?
A:

It's natural — and entirely normal — to experience some intense emotions. You will feel better over time. There are lots of ways to help yourself feel better, and people who can help you if you need it.

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